Don’t skip the reunion
Why it’s worth reconnecting in person with the people who knew you when
Not long ago, my husband and I ran into our sophomore-year English teacher at the camera shop. Bumping into Mr. Probert on a random Saturday afternoon was an unexpected treat. You don’t get many chances to reconnect with your teachers, especially the ones you’d grade on the right side of your bell curve. Mr. Probert’s sense of humor always made him seem more like the entertaining host of a late-night show instead of the teacher charged with building our vocabulary, literary analysis, and essay writing skills for the SATs and college applications looming on the horizon.
Chatting with Mr. Probert was like stepping into a time machine. Listening to him reminisce about our class transported me back to a time I don’t often revisit, even though I have mostly good memories of high school. It was like stumbling upon an episode of “This Is Your Life” from the season when my classmates and I were still figuring out how life worked, but we were getting better at navigating it. We could still rely on the teachers, parents, and other adults looking out for us. It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies, but all in all, we had it pretty good.
As I listened to Mr. Probert talk, I was reminded of how seriously he took his job of helping students mature and succeed in whatever they pursued. But it was also clear that he had delighted in us. We may not have consciously realized it back then, but it was what probably allowed him to connect with us.
That’s the cool thing about talking with your teachers once you’re a grown-up. You get to have conversations with them that you couldn’t have had while you were a student. You get to revisit episodes that were part of your own coming-of-age story and get the perspective of a character who was there to see the whole thing happen. It allows you to see a more complete picture of scenes from your life story.
I couldn’t resist pulling out my sophomore yearbook when we got home. As I thumbed through the faculty section, I saw–though I didn’t remember doing this–that I had asked each of my teachers from that year to sign my yearbook. And each one had written a few lines. I suppose we mattered more to each other than I remembered.
It reminded me how lucky I was to have had teachers committed to preparing us for the world while making our everyday high school life as good as it could be.
Once I opened my yearbook, I couldn’t resist taking a further journey down memory lane and reading the notes my classmates had written when they signed it. I wasn’t entirely surprised that I had forgotten some of the incidents my classmates had encouraged me never to forget (and truthfully, some still didn’t ring a bell even after I’d read about them). But it was fascinating to recall what life was like as a 15-year-old.
I was surprised to come across notes from classmates I hadn’t thought about in years. I suppose because your friend group evolves from sophomore to senior year, sometimes the people who were part of your early high school career aren’t as prominent in your takeaway memories. But in any case, reading those notes reminded me I was lucky to have had those people in my life, even if we only played a bit part in each other’s lives for a while.
I know high school reunions are less common these days. With social media, a mass gathering every five years seems less necessary than it used to be to keep up with your classmates. But if a high school reunion rolls around, I strongly encourage you to go. There’s a big difference between reading what somebody posts on Instagram and interacting with them in person.
And take advantage of other opportunities to stay in touch with your old school. Go to the homecoming game. Go to the spring musical. When you get an invitation to an alumni happy hour that includes some of your old teachers, go.
I know it isn’t always easy to return to your high school. Maybe you feel like you have to prove to yourself that you’ve moved on and you don’t need those people anymore. Or that glass-half-empty voice in your head may say you will only run into people you don’t want to see.
But I would wager that you will enjoy connecting in person with the people who starred in your personal edition of High School Musical more than you expect to.
Just because something is in your past doesn’t mean that it deserves only to be in your rearview mirror. There’s something special about staying in touch with the people who knew you when you were an earlier version of yourself.
Who knows–maybe if you’re really lucky, one of those teachers who helped make your high school years great will turn up, and you can make each other’s day.
I agree!