From fear to wonder: How curiosity breaks the anxiety cycle

Beck explains how wonder—not willpower—leads to safety, connection, and joy

Joanne McHugh

Feb 10, 2026

The Things Your Mom Should Have Told You Book of Wisdom "Beyond Anxiety" by Martha Beck. “Where anxiety makes us avoid more and more of the world, curiosity draws us forward, helping us to get used to unexplored environments and unfamiliar experiences. Anxiety retracts; curiosity expands,” said Martha Beck.

“We’re living in a culture that’s heavily biased toward a very specific kind of thinking and behaving—the way preferred by the left hemisphere…Because the left hemisphere is also the part of the brain that gets stuck in anxiety spirals, this makes us sitting ducks for anxiety…The way our culture goes about trying to reduce anxiety also tends to be very left-brain dominated…We attack anxiety, fighting it like warriors on a search-and-destroy mission. This, as we’ll see, ends up making us more anxious, not less,” said Martha Beck.

“Anxiety is contagious. Every time we interact with other people, we run a high risk of getting caught up in their anxiety spirals, which will accentuate our own…Modern culture is like a massive anxiety spiral in which countless clever brains busily spin out terrifying stories and control strategies 24/7. Our ability to instantly communicate with huge numbers of people allows us to spread the misery faster and farther than ever before,” said Martha Beck.

“In fact, in our culture, anxiety is encouraged as a means of boosting productivity ever higher. Despite piles of evidence showing that we are most creative and ingenious when we’re calm, we often tell ourselves (and one another) that fear is the great motivator, a necessary component of high achievement. To stay productive, we believe, we should stay anxious,” said Martha Beck.

“This is why Amazon’s founder, Jeff Bezos, one of the wealthiest human beings in history, wrote to his stockholders, “I constantly remind our employees to be afraid, to wake up every morning terrified.” Living in fear, he asserts, is the way to stay ahead. This philosophy has certainly helped Bezos acquire his staggeringly huge fortune. But is it really “normal” for over a million Amazon employees to be terrified from the moment they wake up every day so that some of the richest people in the world can get even richer?” said Martha Beck.

“Because anxiety shuts down all curiosity about other people, it’s also toxic to relationships. It not only makes us judge each other harshly one-on-one but also feeds into sweeping judgments about people or groups of people. Anxiety reinforces prejudice and makes us suspect evil motives behind the most innocent actions. It can lead us to embody the very attitudes we don’t want to see in the world,” said Martha Beck.

“Responding to unfamiliarity with fear, we create anxiety spirals that narrow our minds until virtually no one fits into our zone of acceptance. We also adopt any implicit biases that reflect our culture’s overall discrimination against these “others,” even if we truly value justice and equity,” said Martha Beck.

“The only way we ever get used to something unfamiliar is by asking about it, exploring it, seeing it from different angles. And when the “unfamiliar thing” is a person, getting curious about that person’s experience cuts through anxiety and leads to connection,” said Martha Beck.

“There’s a better way to deal with anxiety, one that moves us away from our left hemisphere–dominated cultural models and allows our inherent wisdom to guide us into a more brain-balanced way of being,” said Martha Beck.

“Curiosity, the sensation that begins the creativity spiral, is the force that tempts many young animals, including humans, to experiment with new experiences. Where anxiety makes us avoid more and more of the world, curiosity draws us forward, helping us to get used to unexplored environments and unfamiliar experiences. Anxiety retracts; curiosity expands,” said Martha Beck.

“Creativity spirals…make us focus on the here and now, where we’re able to evaluate situations and either take useful action or simply feel safe. They also impel us to learn about different perspectives and make us want to express ourselves to others. That’s love in action. Once we feel grounded in safety and connection, the brain automatically asks, What can I learn? This makes us more inventive and intelligent,” said Martha Beck.

“Wondering is among the right brain’s favorite states of being, as are perceiving the present moment and noticing things about other people’s outer and inner lives. When we were very young, wondering was one of our predominant pastimes, practically our lifestyle. Once we learn how to calm our anxiety creatures and begin moving our attention into the curiosity of our right hemispheres, we can get that childlike wonder back. For keeps,” said Martha Beck.

“Once you begin turning on your interest curiosity, opening the secret doorway between worry and wonder over and over, you’ll find that the door starts to work more smoothly... Instead of living in anxiety and then digging around for curiosity, you may notice pulses of inquisitiveness popping up on their own, often displacing anxiety. Then curiosity may begin to eclipse anxiety entirely…All of this leads to a different way of engaging with the world,” said Martha Beck.

Things Your Mom Should Have Told You, Book of Wisdom: “Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose” by Martha Beck

If you missed Part 1 of this Book of Wisdom in the spotlight, click to catch up:

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