What I learned when I was a stranger in a strange land
Something was even more memorable than the Prosperity Salad
Happy Lunar New Year! Today marks the beginning of the Year of the Horse, and over a billion people in Asia and around the globe will celebrate by honoring their ancestors and spending an extended holiday break with their families.
When I was in my 20s and early 30s, I worked for the international division of Wyeth, a pharmaceutical company. Working for Wyeth, I’d interact with people from around the globe every day and travel to a dozen countries that I probably would have never visited otherwise.
In some ways, I think opening the door to a job in international marketing was God’s version of sending me away to summer camp. I’m sure he knew that I was so attached to metro Philly that I’d never want to live anywhere else. And he probably also knew that my introverted nature meant that I wouldn’t go out of my way to meet people from other cultures.
When I worked for Wyeth, my trips to Asia sometimes fell during the Lunar New Year. I wish I had an interesting photo of wild revelry to share, but my duties mostly involved attending year-end dinners with agencies and VIPs. The photo I shared above is from a trip to Taiwan one year.
In the foreground of the photo, you can see the gigantic lazy susan, which felt like a giant roulette wheel to me because I am not a fan of Chinese food and don’t like seafood. Since most meals were served family-style, all I could do was hope for the best when someone gave the wheel a spin.
I spent one Lunar New Year in Singapore and Malaysia. The first night I was there, they served the holiday favorite known as Prosperity Salad—a mixture of shredded veggies, fruit pieces, spices, plum sauce, and raw fish. It’s an extra festive dish because everyone sticks their chopsticks into the bowl and helps toss the ingredients around before you dig in.
I ate as much Prosperity Salad as I could stomach and then pushed the remnants around on my plate. When Prosperity Salad showed up again the next night, I was not excited to see it. But I tried to be a good sport and ate about a third of my portion.
On the third night, when Prosperity Salad showed up again, I was ready to cry. I thought to myself that I would rather be poor than eat Prosperity Salad again. But I did my best and ate the bare minimum so as not to insult my hosts. I tried to focus on the pack of Oreos waiting for me in my suitcase back at the hotel.
Though I never became a fan of the cuisine, years later, when I think about my travels to Asia, I still feel a warm sense of gratitude. Without exception, every time I was a stranger in a strange land, I was always under the care of people who welcomed me and went out of their way to show me the best their cities and culture had to offer.
In many ways, those travel experiences were very humbling because I had to put my trust completely in people I had just met. Though I was someone from headquarters there to do a job, my colleagues also seemed to recognize that I was also a young adult far from home.
I can’t think of anyone who wasn’t kind to me. I learned to always travel with a pack of thank-you notes because by the time I left any given country, I was grateful to many people.
There’s a lot of tension in the world today over how willing we are to welcome strangers into our midst. Sometimes it feels more comfortable to close ourselves off from people who are different from us.
And yet when we find ourselves in a situation where we don’t belong–which happens to everyone sooner or later–we quickly recognize how dependent we are on the kindness of people who could just as easily turn a cold shoulder our way. There but for the grace of God go I.
When I was a fish out of water, I couldn’t exactly help where I’d landed–I found myself in Asia for work.
With my light brown, curly hair, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I didn’t speak the language. I couldn’t move smoothly through my day without assistance from someone else. I felt very conscious of being different from everyone else. I was the stranger.
I will be forever grateful for how others welcomed and treated me with compassion on my trips to Asia. And the only way that I can return the kindness I was shown–sometimes the only way that any of us can return favors like these–is to pay it forward.
I don’t have to travel anyplace exotic to meet the pay-it-forward challenge. I just have to be open as I go about my daily life and keep the intention in mind: How can I welcome people who look different from me? Who think differently than I do? Who come from a family background different from mine? Who come from a different culture?
Once you choose to accept this challenge, it’s not complicated. There are so many ways to extend basic human kindness to welcome a stranger. You just have to follow your good instincts.
You’ll know you have successfully met the paying it forward challenge when your simple human actions leave you with a warm feeling inside. Deep down, you will sense you’ve done the right thing.
And as a bonus, you will catch a little glimpse of what the world would be like if everyone truly did live in harmony. Don’t miss that opportunity–you won’t regret it.
Thanks for sharing such an amazing experience!