What to get the people who have everything and need nothing
Some Wise Women weigh in on what to get your parents and grandparents for the holidays this year
Meet Blanche, my colorful and opinionated grandmother, who’s the official poster child for senior relatives you don’t know what to get for Christmas.
As you can tell, Blanche was surprised and delighted by whatever we got her. She had only ripped off a tiny portion of the wrapping paper before she closed her eyes and said, “Ohhhh,” an exclamation that acknowledged we had somehow managed to find a gift that hit the spot. The fact that I even have this photo suggests it was one of those “I can’t wait til she opens this” gifts that had us poised with a camera to preserve her reaction for posterity.
Judging from the box's shape and size, I suspect it was a Mr. Coffee maker (he was the in-house java king before Keurig came to town). Blanche loved her coffee but clung to an old-fashioned percolator that didn’t brew very good coffee. She wouldn’t buy a new coffee maker as long as the old one was still working. But with this gift, Blanche wouldn’t have any excuse not to enter a world of better joe.
Blanche’s reaction to this gift is the one we all dream of–giving something to our loved ones that delights them. But coming up with gift ideas for your elders can be challenging. How do you gift the people who don’t need more stuff with something meaningful? Now that you have your big girl/boy job, the $5 World’s Best Grandpa mug from a Secret Santa shop won’t cut it.
In the interest of trying to do you a solid, I racked my brain to catalog all the gifts I’ve given my elders over the years. Plus, I consulted my very own panel of Wise Women who’ve tangled with what to buy their parents and grandparents for years, too.
Let’s peek into Santa’s sack of potential gift ideas:
Subscription to a local theater’s season of shows
For years, Wise Woman Marylynn and her siblings bought her mom two season tickets to Philadelphia’s Walnut Street Theatre and then took turns joining her for one of the five performances. Once my parents retired, a pair of tickets to a weekday matinee gave them five reasons for a day out. Most theaters offer discounted packages when you purchase season tickets, and some offer a senior discount. If a season’s worth of shows is beyond your budget or you’re not sure your giftee will enjoy them all, many theaters offer gift cards, so your giftee can choose a performance that suits them.
Skylight photo frame
My daughter Cassie came up with this brilliant gift idea for the grandparents–a Skylight photo frame. This touchscreen digital picture frame lets you share photos with your loved ones instantly from anywhere in the world. Now she, her sisters, and cousins can easily share pictures with the grandparents via the free Skylight mobile app or email (no account or subscription required). It’s like a magic mirror in your grandparents’ living room that gives them a peek at their offspring’s adventures. If your parents or grandparents aren’t savvy enough to follow you on social media (or you don’t want to encourage this behavior), Skylight provides an effortless media feed they can enjoy.
Concert tickets
Grandmom might not be up for tickets to Beyoncé, but you’d be surprised at how many artists from the 60s, 70s, and 80s are still touring, typically at smaller venues that can be ideal places to take in a show. One of the best gifts we ever got for my mother-in-law was tickets to see Frankie Avalon, Bobby Rydell, and Fabian. Since she grew up in South Philly during the 1950s when these neighborhood boys became teen idols, Liz squealed like a teenager when she opened her gift. Flip through your parents’ CD collection, casually ask them who they liked to listen to back in the day, or think about the artists you were forced to listen to on long car rides growing up, then google to see if they are touring.
Gift certificate for a family photo session
Last year, my daughters gave us a gift certificate from my favorite photographer so that we could get an updated family portrait. If you were in grade school or high school the last time your family got a group photo together, here’s your chance to get those awkward family photos of you off display. Your siblings may be willing to chip in on this.
A day-out experience
A day out with you as their tour guide might be the gift grandparents secretly want the most. Offer to take Grandmom and Grandpop downtown to see the Christmas light show. Or maybe Pop-Pop would enjoy lunch and a visit to the railroad museum. Perhaps Mom-Mom would get a kick out of having lunch with you at a cat cafe. The destination doesn’t matter–spending quality time with their child or grandchild is the real attraction.
Restaurant gift certificates
Whether for a fancier restaurant you know they like, or a new one you think they might enjoy, these are proven winners. Your parents don’t need to be foodies to appreciate this gift. Your mom may be so tired of being in charge of what’s for dinner that she’ll be happy to have an excuse not to cook. Wise Woman Courtney says she stays away from the chains because she knows her parents appreciate nice restaurants; I, on the other hand, know that my dad will be just as happy at Applebee’s or Red Lobster. But you’ll have a sense of what your loved ones like best.
Dinner In
Wise Woman Rachel reports that she’s gifted her in-laws with prepared meals in an insulated tote from local farms or specialty delis. Or, if you’ve taken your cooking skills up a notch now that you’re fending for yourself, you could volunteer to be their personal chef for an evening while you’re home for the holidays. (They’ll be telling their friends about that gift for weeks afterward.) Or how about a gift certificate to Hello Fresh, Blue Apron, or some other meal delivery service?
Gifts that remind them of their happy place
Arcadia Publishing specializes in photo-rich books capturing the essence of small towns across America, and they might have one about your loved one’s old hometown. Perhaps a local gift shop features t-shirts, throws, or other merch celebrating their town. I’ve gotten my dad and my father-in-law shirts from their high schools. Wise Woman Rachel reports she found laser-cut wooden coasters with patterns featuring beach tags from her in-laws’ favorite beach. There are plenty of ways to be creative in this category.
Consultation with a genealogist
My mom spent years researching our family history, but she’d already exhausted Ancestry.com and didn’t need any more photo albums. I discovered that the Historical Society of Pennsylvania offers one-hour consultations with a genealogist on Zoom. It’s kind of like having your own personal slot on the PBS show “Finding Your Roots.” It was a little pricey, but well worth it, as it helped my mom get past some of the dead ends she’d hit. Maybe your siblings would be happy to go in on a group gift?
Movie Tavern gift card
Maybe Grandmom and Grandpop are content most of the time to watch “Wheel of Fortune”” or stream movies from home, but surely there will be at least one movie they would enjoy seeing on the big screen. Your parents and grandparents grew up seeing movies in theaters, so this gift gives them a chance to go out just like in the olden days. A Movie Tavern gift card takes it up a notch beyond overpriced popcorn–they can have a snack or meal and a show.
Register them for a class
Art studios, bakeries, YMCAs, and even some local school districts offer a whole range of adult education classes. It will give Mom-Mom something to do or Pop-Pop the chance to try a new hobby. (Bonus points if you take the class with them.)
Photo calendar or other photo-themed item
Snapfish and Shutterfly have made turning your photos into memorable keepsakes easy. Though curating family photos will require some effort, this gift will surely be a winner. Hint: Enlist your siblings or cousins, and you can divvy up the work.
Make them a piece of art
Wise Woman Courtney says a painting by her daughter is one of her most memorable gifts. Likewise, I appreciated when my daughter Susannah surprised me with a canvas featuring some of my most famous sayings. (She’s also done calendars of those too.) If your mom still has that Christmas wreath you made in third grade, this is your chance to take it up a notch with your more highly developed artistic skills.
Membership to a museum, botanical garden, zoo, or other place they might enjoy visiting multiple times during the year
Memberships can be an invitation to routinely kick back, especially if your loved one has more leisure time on their hands now. Who knows–these institutions might offer a discount during the holiday shopping season or throw in a mug or a tote bag you can wrap up.
A gift card to one of their favorite stores
Wise Woman Andrea suggests the ultimate Hail Mary pass for gift-givers. Let’s face it–you’d probably have just as hard a time choosing a sweater for your mom as she would picking one for you. Your gift card gives her an excuse to buy herself something new.
A solution for a problem or challenge that bedevils your loved one
Wise Woman Rachel reports that her daughter researched fast-food menus and made a list of dairy-free, gluten-free, and soy-free foods. Then, she printed the list on cardstock so she could keep it in her car’s glove compartment. This gift is an excellent chance to demonstrate your problem-solving skills while expressing your care and concern.
If you’re still stumped…
Sometimes, a person’s favorite gift to give is the same thing they enjoy receiving. So think about what your difficult-to-buy-for person has gifted you in the past. It may be the key to a really great gift for them.
No matter what gift you get your loved ones, remember it truly is the thought that counts. As I said, I can’t remember for sure what we gave my grandmother on that long-ago Christmas. Ultimately, you or your relatives may not remember what you give them for Christmas even a few years from now. But they will remember how your gift made them feel. Good luck with your shopping!
What a great list! Good for any generation.