When you’re not as happy as you’d like to be

Brooks and Winfrey show how to harness the science of happiness to build a better life

Joanne McHugh

Oct 14, 2025

Front cover of the book "Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier" by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey — Click the cover image to go to Bookshop.org, where you can select a local bookstore to support. Your online order will be filled directly by their distributor, and the full profit from your purchase will be sent to your bookstore of choice.

"America is in a happiness slump. Just over the past decade, the percentage of Americans saying they are ‘not too happy’ rose from 10% to 24%. The percentage of Americans suffering from depression is increasing dramatically, especially among young adults. Meanwhile, the percentage saying they are ‘very happy’ has fallen from 36% to 19%...People disagree about why this slump is happening on such a mass scale–blaming technology, or a polarized culture, or culture change, or the economy, or even politics–but we all know that it is happening," said Arthur C. Brooks.

"If you are coming to this book because you are not as happy as you want to be–whether because you are suffering from something in particular, or you have a good life ‘on paper’ but always find yourself struggling–you are the kind of person I relate to best. We are kindred spirits," said Arthur C. Brooks.

"I started studying happiness 25 years ago as a PhD student…for a long time, my knowledge didn’t help me very much. It was just observations about who the happiest people were–and the unhappiest. A decade ago during a particularly dark and stormy time in my life, my wife asked a question that changed my thinking–'Why don’t you use all that complicated research to see if there are ways you can change your own habits?'" said Arthur C. Brooks.

"I started spending more time observing my well-being levels to pick out patterns. I studied the nature of my suffering and the benefits I likely derived from it. I set up a series of experiments based on the data, trying things like making a gratitude list, praying more, and pursuing the opposite behavior of my inclination when I was sad and angry (which was pretty often). And I saw results.," said Arthur C. Brooks.

"It worked so well that in my spare time from my job, I started writing about happiness and real-life applications…I changed careers at the age of 55 to write, speak, and teach about the science of happiness…I accepted a professorship at Harvard University and created a class on the science of happiness, which quickly became oversubscribed," said Arthur C. Brooks.

"I observed how my brain was processing negative emotions and learned how to manage these emotions without trying to get rid of them. I began to see relationships as an interplay between hearts and brains, and not some inscrutable mystery. I started adopting the habits of the happiest people that I saw in the data, and whom I knew in my real life…In the years since I made this life change, my own well-being has risen a lot," said Arthur C. Brooks.

"In plain language, we seek to help you see that you are not helpless against the tides of life, but that with a greater understanding of how your mind and brain work, you can build the life you want, starting inside with your emotions, and then turning outward to your family, friendships, work, and spiritual life. It worked for us, and it can work for you too," said Arthur C. Brroks and Oprah Winfrey.

"Unlike other books you may have read, this one is not going to exhort you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. This isn’t a book about willpower–it’s about knowledge, and how to use it. If you couldn’t figure out something about your car, you wouldn’t solve the problem with extreme willpower–you’d look at an owner’s manual. Similarly, when something isn’t right in your happiness, you need clear, science-based information about how your happiness works before anything else, and then instructions on how to use this information in your life. That’s what this book is.," said Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey.

"This also isn’t another book about minimizing or eliminating pain–yours or anyone else’s. Life can be hard–much harder for some people than for others, through no fault of their own. If you’re in pain, this book won’t tell you to wait it out or extinguish it. Rather, it will show you how to decide to deal with it, learn from it, and grow through it," said Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey.

"You, too, can become the boss of your own life, not an observer. You can learn to choose how you react to negative circumstances and select emotions that make you happier even when you get a bad hand. You can focus your energy not on trivial distractions, but on the basic pillars of happiness that bring enduring satisfaction and meaning. You will learn how to manage your life in new ways," said Arthiur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey.

The Book of the Month is "Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier" by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey

In the olden days, moms used to clip articles from newspapers for their kids if they thought it was something they needed to know. I’m keeping an eye out for things that you might have missed that may be helpful to you.

This week’s clips:

Dr. Lucy McBride from Are You Okay? offers practical tips for managing anxiety when it feels like the world is falling apart.

When you know it’s time to end the relationship, how do you find the right words, untangle your lives, and move on? NPR’s Life Kit suggests how to break up with someone.

How did America end up so politically divided? American Storylines identifies the forces that contributed to current conditions and considers how politics could be conducted more productively.

What should parents really be telling their kids before they leave the nest?

Lianne Castelino and I chatted about how parents can help their young adults navigate love, work, money, and life’s inevitable messiness — without lecturing or sugarcoating.

Click the link to hear all about:

Why “happy talk” can backfire when preparing kids for adulthood
How sharing your own struggles builds stronger relationships
Talking about dating and finances without sounding like a sermon
Navigating hustle culture and burnout
Helping young adults normalize the messiness of their 20s

Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

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